Satire
Fuck Valentine’s Day! It’s Candy Clearance Day!
The superior holiday for adults who are NOT pathetic.
Published in Greener Pastures
Feb. 15th, 2021
Some Realistic Valentine’s Day Cards
Send love the inexpensive way, because you’ve been furloughed since May.
Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Feb. 10th, 2021
I’m Chekhov and My Gun Doesn’t Kill. It Doesn’t Even Go Off!
Chekhov’s gun theory is a bunch of baloney.
Published in Greener Pastures
Jan. 29th, 2020
The Republican Twilight Zone
There is another dimension beyond all logic known to man. It is a dimension of arrogance as vast as space and as bottomless as voter fraud allegations.
Published in The Weekly Humorist
Jan. 15th, 2021
This is Your Mother Earth, and YOU’RE ALL Grounded!
I have had it up to hear with you, Human P. Kind! You’re about to get sent to your time-out corner… Florida.
Published in The Platypus News
Jan. 13th, 2021
Stranded in a Desert or Victim of a Pyramid Scheme?
Take this quiz to find out how deep you’re in the quicksand.
Published in Greener Pastures
Dec. 15th, 2020
My 12 Scary Days of Christmas
All is not calm, and all is definitely not right.
Published in Greener Pastures
Dec. 8th, 2020
How The Mitch Stole Stimulus
Every blue down in Blue-Ville
loved stimulus a lot.
But the Mitch who lived in the Senate of Blue-Ville did not.
Published in Weekly Humorist
Dec. 4th, 2020
The Mummy 4: Pyramid Scheme of Doom
If you love ancient Egyptian artifacts, you’ll enjoy saving 20% while you build your empire!
Published in Greener Pastures
Dec. 2nd, 2020
Realistic Thanksgiving Cards
Send wishes for a happy fall,
filled with lots of cholesterol.
Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Nov. 23rd, 2020
Mental Health Professional or Dr. Evil?
This quiz will help you find a mental health professional with just the right amount of evil.
Published in Greener Pastures
Nov. 11th, 20202
GOP Speech at The Ritz, Plumbing Warehouse.
Rudy Giuliani’s second press conference attempt to prove voter fraud.
Published in Greener Pastures
Nov. 13th, 2020
Reasons Cats Make Better Presidents
Liam Flea-son 2024
Co-written with Teresa Douglas
Published in Greener Pastures
Nov. 3rd, 2020
The Scariest Movies to Watch this Halloween
Reality is scarier than fiction.
Co-written with Cassie Soliday
Published in Robot Butt
Oct 30th, 2020
Employee Performance Review For The Senate
Failure to improve will result in
extreme protesting.
Published in Greener Pastures
Oct 27th, 2020
I’m Your College Debt, and You Will Never Escape My Love.
Every breath you take, every payment you don’t make, I’ll be watching you.
Published in The Monocle Of Higher Education
Oct. 26th, 2020
Introducing The Hot New Fitness Challenge, “Move My Fridge!”
The next hot exercise challenge to help Insta-fitness nuts totally #shred!
Published in Little Old Lady Comedy
Oct. 9th, 2020
I’m A Fabletics Woman’s Top, and I Don’t Give a DAMN about Modesty!
Skimpy shirts only, or you can’t sit with us!
Published in Greener Pastures Magazine
Sept. 7th, 2020